Author: Lurina

079: Justice and Kindness (𒐄) - The Flower That Bloomed Nowhere | Royal Road

Inner Sanctum Underground | 12:47 AM | Third Day

As it turned out, the only 'plan' that could be produced ended up being fairly straightforward.

First, Anna had executed some more advanced Divination techniques, and managed to determine what was probably Hamilcar's location, since any potential counter-arcana couldn't be detected. The only living person underground was deep, deep below, either in the chambers within Nittaimalaru's underbelly which Ran had described us visiting, or somewhere adjacent. Either way, there was only one path to and from that area: The elevator which lay at roughly the center of the underground.

Following this, the next step was to split our group into two. The first would stay behind in the security center, ready to cast support techniques viable at longer range on demand, while keeping an arcane line of communication to the second. Said second group would first go investigate the old eris storage system to see if it would shed any light on what had happened and renew the supply in our scepters, then proceed underground to confront Hamilcar.

The tricky part came to who would be assigned to each group. Obviously, Lilith and Theo - an actual confessed culprit, and someone still bearing the heavy weight of suspicion respectively - would have to stay behind under supervision, and Ran would need to remain just because she was the best candidate to perform the role of the long-range Diviner. Beyond that, we needed at least one of the Inner Circle to be in the offensive party to hope to stand up to Hamilcar.

It was a wolf-and-sheep situation again, and one that had to be balanced carefully. In the worst case scenario where the accomplice among us was someone powerful, then if we left one of our two parties too weak, then they could be put in serious peril. On the other hand, if we made the decision entirely based around who bore the most suspicion, then we could end up divided in a manner counterintuitive to our roles.

Zeno ended up being the obvious pick for the offensive group's lead. Not only were they more skilled than Linos and lacking Anna's preoccupation, but because they were controlling their body remotely, that made it possible for them to venture afield while still remaining vulnerable if they tried to stab the group in the back. Despite their very specific denial earlier, it was probably reasonable to guess that their real body was among the crates taken from the research tower.

It was also a chance to follow up on the desire they'd asserted earlier: To try and recover control of my grandfather's creation, or at least extract some of the most critical components and data.

That left the difficult decision of who was to accompany them. The plan necessitated people capable of playing a supplemental role to Zeno - counter-incanting, maintaining barriers, and so on - which already eliminated candidates without experience in those areas, like Ptolema and Ophelia (the latter of which might've caused a fuss if she'd wanted to go anyway, since Zeno was still fairly adamant of her likely guilt). Seth volunteered, as did Fang, since they were the most skilled in our class and 'felt bad sitting on their ass while everyone else did the real work'. Ezekiel wanted to go, too, but their skill set in Neuromancy was completely redundant, so Zeno rejected the idea.

He seemed strangely disappointed about that, but the last thing I had time for was reflecting on the nuances of Ezekiel's rich inner life.

That left Kam and I as the best candidates, despite Zeno's suspicion of us for Yantho's inexplicable death. What was disturbing was that I barely even felt afraid when it was suggested. My reaction to what happened to Sacnicte and Yantho had felt muted, too. When this was all over and things snapped back to reality, I...

Well, there was no point in thinking about that.

It did, admittedly, not feel as dangerous as I'd expected. Along with Ran relaying Anna's Divination about Hamilcar's location and what aspects of the Power were active in the area - which she was repeating every few minutes - we also had the repurposed golem which Zeno had been working on now acting as a scout for us, as well as serving as a relay for further Divination, following a hasty bit of engraving on Anna's part. With all that and our barriers in place, it felt hard to imagine we'd be taken by surprise.

Our faces were masked again, too, so that was another sort of protection. We'd already passed by one golem patrol harmlessly, despite the sight of the seopards being practically a traumatic experience for me after what had happened earlier.

"You're coming up to where the eris tanks should be now, in the next room on your left," Ran told us as we made our way down another of the dark hallways, using the Sound-Echoing Arcana, which conveyed noise from the user to a pre-defined point - in this case, our ears.

"You don't need to tell me that," Zeno replied, with dismissive irritation. "I know Linos gave you all maps and you want to feel useful, but I've worked in this fucking reverse-fishtank on and off for nigh half of my life. I could probably walk through the place blindfolded."

"You seemed rather confused earlier, when you took a door into a service closet," Kamrusepa replied flatly.

She rolled her eyes. "I told you, that was because of the damn renovations they did a few years ago. How am I supposed to tell one door from another if you make it all look like some brutalist hellscape?" She gestured towards the more traditional-looking tunnels we'd now entered, with more discernible brickwork. "Thankfully, most of this place still has some sense of architectural style, even if that style happens to be 'dungeon from a New Kingdoms Era period piece'."

"Could you guys, y'know, maybe chill out a bit?" Seth said, glancing cautiously around a corner.

I had the same desire. Having Kamrusepa and Zeno in the same place was starting to feel like taking a second cat home for the first time.

We took a right turn, departing the area I recognized from when we'd been down by the administrative core, and came to a bronze doorway. Seth took out his copy of the key he'd received from Linos and twisted the lock, pushing it open. Bronze doesn't rust, but still the metal creaked as it gave way, and disturbed dust swirled out of the chamber. A spider's web tore overhead.

Stepping within, it was more or less what I'd been expecting. Six wide tanks were arranged on either side of a larger-than-average chamber, with a seventh at the far end, all connected to a complicated pumping-and-refining mechanism in the center of the floor, which itself fed into a huge pipe overhead that then split in multiple directions, surrounded by complex - but inactive - runecraft. An eris pool also stood nearby, the basin marred with some liquid stain I couldn't discern in the poor lighting.

Seth glanced around the room. "Yeah, think we can rule out anybody having been here recently." He frowned, flattening his lip. "So much for that theory, I guess."

I nodded. Even beyond the state of the doorway, there was so much dust on the machinery it was obvious it hadn't been used in over a decade at the very least, and the tanks themselves showed no signs of damage. The idea that someone had cast anything from here an hour ago felt vanishingly improbable.

"The better for us, then," Zeno said, stepping by us and heading for the control mechanism. "We're more likely to get some usable eris from it. That'll make this much easier."

"Rather concerning, though," Kam said. "After all, that was our only guess at how the Power could possibly have been suppressed, considering the grand quantity of eris that such an endeavor entails."

"Well, we already sort of knew that couldn't be the explanation," I said, scratching my head. "Since it didn't show up with the Anomaly-Divining Arcana."

She nodded, holding a finger to the rim of her lips. "Yes, I suppose so. But that just makes it all the more inexplicable."She glanced to the side. "Don't you think so, Fang?"

"Eh...? Oh-- Yeah," Fang said, nodding a few times. "Real weird! ...well, real impossible, I guess."

Kam frowned at the muted response. Fang still seemed heavily preoccupied, for whatever reason.

"If I may posit a theory," Zeno said, as she fiddled with the control panel, "what occurred may not have been the casting of a new incantation, but simply a function of an existing one. The suppression of the Power upstairs was originally executed by master incantation from the administrative core, which we know was tampered with. It could have been made malleable - to extend beyond its normal range - if a certain command is given."

I raised an eyebrow. "Is that even possible? I thought the limitation on range was physical-- To do with the engravings themselves. And that the change to the system was only in the scripted functions to occur, not the fundamentals of those functions themselves."

More than that, the idea felt like it threw out everything I'd been assuming about the situation. If Hamilcar could just control the Power-suppressing field willy-nilly, it felt like there were far simpler ways to have murdered us than what happened earlier.

Zeno shrugged. "Who is to say how much was actually changed? Maybe the runework everywhere was altered." She pressed her hand against some mechanism within the pump. "I wouldn't think such an idea possible, but I've been surprised by the incompetence at play here before. Or alternatively, perhaps the room under the security center is an exception, since it's something of a liminal space, and that area has so many special rules and functions to begin with. It could be just close enough to stretch the effect."

I frowned to myself, biting my lip. Even though this wasn't strictly unreasonable, I couldn't help but feel that it was almost like Zeno was trying to contrive an explanation for its own sake. Like she was making excuses.

She's not above suspicion. I had to remember that, and be prepared for anything.

Suddenly, there was a sound of gears grinding and fluid bubbling upward as Zeno triggered something in the pumping mechanism. The tanks made a windy hissing sound, like a bored child trying to suck the last droplets of a depleted milkshake up with a straw. The eris bowl sprung to life, multi-colored light emanating from it's basin, though somewhat muted and flickering compared to normal.

"Ah, good! We're in luck," Zeno said, with a smile. "The converter is still functioning, and there's a little bit of eris left. That should be more than enough to get our scepters charged and avoid any deeper inconvenience." She looked over her shoulder. "We'll take whatever remains back with us in liquid form when we return. I wouldn't be surprised if this whole business causes a shortage with the old witch and your friend, not to mention the other two who were blitzing through the stuff trying to keep that woman alive."

"You really don't think much of us for trying to save Mehit's life, huh?" Seth said, with a mix of dryness and half-veiled contempt.

"We've been over this, little boy," Zeno said, placing her scepter over the pool. "You played right into the hands of the conspirators."

"Even so, she really was bleeding to death," he told her. "She would've died if we'd sat around with our thumbs up our asses. Even if the good doesn't cancel out the bad, you're acting like we didn't do anything of value."

"Ah, I see!" Zeno said, with a smirk. "So this is less about assessing your judgement, and more about your opinion of my personality, hm?" She crossed her arms. "Weren't you just whining about the girl and I bickering a few moments ago?"

"I guess I was," Seth replied, looking away with projected disinterest.

"But not now that I've ruffled your feathers, mm. Mercy, if there's one trait I could scrub from humanity, it would be hypocrisy." She leaned back for a moment, waiting for the charge to finish. "If it's what you're looking to hear, I'll admit I find people preoccupied with the lives of others in situations where their own existence in danger pretty fucking incomprehensible, especially individuals without any particular value in ensuring their own survival. And that turns a little personal when it also affects my survival."

"Don't you have any empathy?" Seth asked, while Kam watched the conversation with a mildly uncomfortable expression.

Zeno snorted. "There's a word people love to use as a blunt instrument." She brushed a lock of aquamarine hair away from her eyes. "Certainly I can imagine myself in her position in an immediate sense-- I won't deny I'd be upset if I were bleeding to death from my abdomen. But what happens to us in life is a product of our own choices. She did not have to separate from the group in a fit of hysterics - assuming the story I've heard is accurate - and open herself up to being a pawn in the culprits' plans. She did not have to come to the sanctuary at all. Fuck, if you want to get big-picture about it, she didn't have to agree to let her kid get inducted. Or to have one at all. Or to embark on any of the life choices and imagined commitments that led her to this position."

"So she deserved to die, huh?" he said, looking at her with contempt. "Because she got upset and made a stupid decision a couple hours ago in the middle of a literal serial killing, and because she wanted to come and support her daughter at what was supposed to be a totally normal event. And because she listened to what probably every asshole expert was telling her when Lilith started grading like a 30 year old when she was 10."

"'Deserved'? Don't be so melodramatic." She leaned back against the side of the massive pipe. "No one deserves, or indeed does not deserve, anything in this world. I am merely saying that she created her own circumstances, and did nothing to make herself worth that eris you spent to save her life, or the peril you placed your own in for the opportunity to do so." She made a dismissive gesture. "And all of that is just excuses - 'she was upset', 'she felt obligated', 'people told her to do it'. Trying to brush away the truth that ultimately, she made those decisions as an independent, sapient being by infantilizing her to the degree that you might as well regard her as a household pet."

"If you want to start throwing pretentious terminology around, all of that shit is just-world fallacy," Seth told him. I couldn't see his face, of course, but he was clenching his fist a bit. "You're justifying post-hoc that all the crap that happened to her was because she was irrational, when it was probably nothing but fucking bad luck."

Zeno laughed. It was eerily childlike and innocent sounding, with that body. "There's no such thing as bad luck, little boy. Any 'gambling' in life is merely a result of having failed to properly comprehend the world, or having comprehended it but not acted on that comprehension for some ultimately vapid, sentimental reason. It's art students all the way down-- People putting self-indulgence over maneuvering within reality to their logical advantage, then acting like they've somehow been fucked over when it ends suboptimally."

"That's absolute bullshit," Seth said sharply. "Shitty things happen all the time that are completely outside of anyone's control. What happens if you're struck by lightning, huh?"

"I believe we have developed meteorology," Zeno replied, sounding bored. "Sew wind, reap tempest, or any other allegorical weather event that pleases you."

"Or you come down with a terminal disease young, and aren't in the right circumstances to get it treated?" he demanded, ignoring the previous answer.

"Then you should navigate to better circumstances," she retorted again. "This shit is easy if you pay attention. Educate yourself and follow the news in the economy, the sciences, and the social landscape, and plot out a reasonable path to a solution with as many fail-safes as you can. Do a little social climbing and work and solving almost any mundane problem is possible, thrice so if you have the foresight to act in advance." She crossed her arms. "I have no sympathy for existences without the cognitive capacity or will to thrive in this world. 'Ohh, I wanted to study economics, but then I met him and we just had to have a baby!" She shook her head, sticking out her tongue with a 'blech' expression. "Human beings are a species in dire need of improvement."

At this point, I was simply staring at the exchange from the side with a blank expression. It'd gone places so fast that I didn't feel capable of adequately responding.

"You really are an ideological Meritist to the core, huh," Seth said, with obvious disgust. "A true believer."

"Meritist?" Zeno made an exhausted sigh. "That's just a political interest label-- Ugh, gods, I really do lament the inability of your generation to perceive anything beyond aesthetics and social theater. I should scarcely bother trying to convey any deeper truths." She pushed herself up, snatching her scepter from where it was floating. "Answer me, boy. Where is the world?"

"What?" he said, with irritation.

"Where. Is. The. World?" she asked, laboring each word.

He stared at her for a moment, then sighed himself, sounding frustrated. "I don't know. What the fuck do you want me to say, to make whatever point you're going for?" He gestured his hands outward. "Everywhere. Or up in the planar landscape, if you mean the Mimikos--"

"Wrong," she said, flicking her scepter up to point directly at his head. "The world is in there. Your reality."

Seth took a moment to process this, then scoffed. "What, solipsism? Is that the 'deeper truth' you want me to comprehend-- Tertiary school philosophy?"

"What I want you to comprehend," she said, now quietly - in a tone that almost took on a slightly flirtatious quality - "is the magnificence of your own mind, and to appreciate the scope of what it is constantly accomplishing. That all of existence as you know it, all its people and places and knowledge and sensations, everything, is all happening in just one, splendid place." She lowered the rod just slightly. "Understand that, insist on the grandeur of yourself, and you can see the universe for what it is: A vast sandbox in which you stand as a man. Primed to be shaped into whatever you please; to be transformed into something beautiful to you."

"This is just a pseudo-intellectual framing to justify acting like a selfish asshole," Seth said, seeming a little uncomfortable.

Zeno bonked him on the head softly with the owl-head of her scepter, then spoke in a flatter tone. "Or, alternatively, you could imagine yourself as a grain of sand, and blow away chasing your own misunderstandings of reality. Up to you, nerd." She stepped back, inviting everyone else to charge their scepters with a flick of her hand. "Personally, I can't see the appeal in conceptualizing human beings as perpetual victims of fate. But what do I know? I'm only one of the greatest arcanists in the world."

Seth scowled at her back, shaking his head.

We spent a few minutes recharging our scepters, then set off again, Seth still grumbling with irritation. Despite that being the kind of higher-concept conversation both Fang and Kam would normally add something to, neither did, though in Kam's case I suspected it might've been something to do with seeing her own ideological framework reflected in a light she found questionable. She looked towards the ground as we walked, her posture tense.

In Fang's case, though, I was increasingly curious as to, and bothered by not knowing, what exactly was on their mind. I had a mind to speak up and ask, in fact, when I suddenly heard Ran's voice in my ear.

"Hey, Su," she said, as we started heading in the other direction, down one of the longer tunnels.

I blinked. The fact she'd opened with a personal greeting suggested this wasn't something the others were hearing, so I turned my head away from the others, whispering in case this was something requiring discretion. "What is it?"

"I thought of something I need to check with you, about Zeno," she said. It sounded as though she was keeping her voice down herself. "You said that he controls his bodies remotely using the Power, right?"

"I don't know," I said. "I have amnesia."

"But that's the correct information, right," she replied flatly.

"Well... yeah," I said. "I mean, as far as they told me when we met."

"Right. So, I was thinking about that, and I realized it doesn't make any sense," she said. "Like, at all. He was walking around upstairs for hours even though the Power wasn't supposed to be working. I thought that maybe it was just that the suppression field didn't block incantations with an exterior source - as in, somebody casting an effect inside from outside - but while we were talking about Yantho's murder, Anna told me that it blocks everything, like, period. So that's completely impossible."

I had to consciously override the impulse to stop in my tracks, my eyes going wide. How the hell did I overlook something so obvious?

"H-How on earth are they doing it, then...?" I said, my voice becoming more of a hiss as the bafflement leaked through. I was suddenly feeling grateful we were wearing these masks. "Could that be their real body, somehow? The girl, I mean."

"I guess it's not impossible," she replied. "But I checked the security console. It's registered 'Zeno' as having gone underground, but picked up one less person then it should in terms of actual human lifeforms. That means that body probably isn't anything close to a person on the inside, including the nervous system."

"So then... What?" I asked, baffled.

"I don't know," she said. "I mean, taking a shot in the dark, it could be some kind of logic bridge based system. A portable one can barely transmit any information, but they must be able to manage a little, otherwise they wouldn't be banned under the Covenant. It might be enough to carry the data produced by the brain stem, though you'd probably have to make one bigger than the handheld ones people normally use. I don't know how you'd fit that inside someone's skull. Maybe if you had some elaborate custom one connected with an artificial nerve, and managed to hide it somehow."

My eyes wandered to Zeno. She wasn't exactly super modestly dressed, but...

I scratched my head. "I don't understand why they'd lie about that, though. I mean, were they worried I'd snitch once we left...?"

"It's possible. But maybe they just managed to integrate their brain into something really alien... Transplants like that are supposed to be dangerous as hell at the best of times, but if anyone could do it, it'd be them."

I stared straight ahead, not knowing what to do with this information. Did this make Zeno more of a threat? Would it be better to run back the way we came? No-- There was no way that the other conclave members wouldn't know about this already, given how well they knew Zeno. Anna, at least, wasn't stupid. She might've been kind of a severe person, but I doubted she'd let us do something so dangerous under a complete misconception.

"Anyway, I just wanted to give you a heads up," she said. "When we do the next round of divination, I'm going to see if I can find out anything else. I might also just straight-up ask Anna about it. I'll let you know."

"Uh, okay," I said. "Thanks."

With that, the sound in my ear ceased.

I watched Zeno. She was stepping quickly down the hall, her gaze focused, if slightly conflicted.

I shook my head. If I run now, everything will probably just go to shit. Better to push on, and trust that we weren't walking straight into a trap.

"Hey, Su," Fang said abruptly, as I suddenly realized they'd moved to stand right next to me. I jumped sharply.

"U-Uhh," I said. "What is it?" Did they hear something?

"I don't wanna be, like a pain, since this is kinda a high stress situation? But I wanted to ask you something," they said, the distraction in their tone from earlier suddenly gone. "You met with Balthazar earlier, right? Back at the research tower."

I guess not. Though this coming up out of nowhere wasn't exactly what I was hoping for, either. "Oh... Mm, that's right," I said, with a nod.

"Could you tell me a little about what you talked about?" they asked, but then hesitated. "Though, you don't have to or anything! I don't wanna be a jerk, but. It might help with something that's on my mind?" They laughed awkwardly. "Or it could turn out I'm chasing ghosts over something super weird."

"...okay," I said, after a moment of thought. "Sure, I suppose."

Though, how much did I really want to say? It wasn't as if any of it was particularly sensitive information, but I also didn't want to come across as a crazy person.

On the other hand, though, what did I have to lose at this point?

I rubbed my eyes. "Uh, well... Basically, I've been having some weird stuff happen to me mentally, over the course of the weekend. I don't really know how to describe it in a way that won't sound stupid... But, Balthazar said something weird the other morning that it made it sound like he could know something."

"Right. I'm with you," Fang said, nodding.

"And, um." I cleared my throat. "I asked him about it, and he told Ran and I that this sanctuary is stuck in a time loop-- That some property of the sanctuary was making this weekend play out over and over again." My face flushed a bit; it was all so absurd, it felt ridiculous to even be relaying it.

Fang winced, gritting their teeth. "And they were the only one who remembered?"

"Y-Yeah," I said, nodding. "Well... There was more to it than that, but that was the rough gist."

They thought about this for a few moments, then nodded, still with that disquieted look. Then, they slowly nodded. "Mhmmm. Yeah... I figured it might be something like that."

I nodded. And then blinked.

Wait, what?

"Y-You," I began echoing, "figured it might be something like that...?"

"Wooh, I guess that did probably sound a little weird, huh? Since it's kinda a nuts idea." They scratched their head with a similarly embarrassed expression. But then they scrunched up their lip, glancing to the side with a furtive look on their face. "But no matter how stupid or crazy something seems, if enough things point to it, you can't just stick your fingers in your ears and ignore the possibility. ...well, at least, that's my philosophy."

I couldn't quite believe what I was hearing.

"You believe him," I said.

"Yeah," Fang said, nodding. "Well, kinda?"

"I meeeaaan... It's not like I have some ironclad logical grounding," they said. "But from the start, it's been obvious that something kinda weird has been going on. The whole method of getting here was strange, and when they had the fake audience during the conclave meeting, I realized that any connection to the outside world had probably been shut off--"

"Wait," I said. "Fake audience?"

"Oh, yeah, you didn't notice?" they asked casually. "Their responses to everything were all really generic, and sometimes didn't match what was going on at all. Once or twice, I even saw them repeat themselves."

I gave a frown that was somewhere in between shock and skepticism. I'd paid some amount of attention to the audience at the time, and while they'd seemed a little muted, their reactions had come across as fairly specific at some moments. As intelligent as Fang was, I felt like I would've noticed something like that.

"Anyway, after that, it was all just a buncha little things that added up," they said. "I checked out the pantry when I heard people talking about that. I asked Neferuaten a bit more about the machine, and the whole idea about it being able to turn back time. I watched the interview with the council you had where they were inviting you to an honorary position - Mm, but I guess you wouldn't remember that, huh."

I blinked. "How... How do you even know about that?"

"Oh! Oh." They laughed nervously, looking somewhat put on the spot. "I kiiinda overheard you talking with Ran and Ophelia, back at the research tower?"

"You mean... You eavesdropped," I said.

"Hey, c'mon," they said, holding up a hand defensively. "I didn't do it on purpose. I've just got good ears, and it's hard for me not to pay attention to stuff, y'know?"

I wasn't sure what to say to that. Fang was a hard person for me to talk to at the best of times, but this felt especially overwhelming. I felt annoyed, but couldn't keep up with them to vocalize it.

"My condolences with all that, by the way," they added. "The memory stuff, I mean. I've got kinda a rough theory kicking around about it, but I'm still piecing it together, so I shouldn't speak too soon. It started to click when I saw that painting up on the second floor of the main hall, but trying to extrapolate from that alone? Cart before the horse. Hell, cart before the road, if it turns out all this time stuff is barking up the wrong tree."

"Fang," I said, trying to regain some control of the conversation even if it meant overlooking glaring questions that were coming to mind, "what you're talking about isn't possible. Kam used the Time-Inferring Arcana a few hours ago. It's passing normally." I narrowed my eyes. "Balthazar mentioned the pantry, too, but that - and the whole idea of us being cut off from the outside world - would only suggest that conclusion if what's happening is local."

They bit their lip. "That's true, yeah. I guess I'm doing some out of the box thinking. Questioning the fundamentals."

What the fuck does that even mean? You can't just dismiss something being impossible with 'out of the box thinking'!

"Hmmmm-- Speaking of that," they said. "When was the first time you remember having that feeling you mentioned? Like, remembering what was going to happen."

I blinked. "I... On the morning we set off from the university," I said. "I think."

"Got it. Sorry to be weird," they said. "Don't take me too seriously, y'know? It's just, I find you gotta keep your mind fluid when trying to make sense of something you really don't understand. If you keep saying 'that's impossible', you'll just end up walling yourself in. You gotta entertain everything, no matter how crazy, until things swing back around to making sense, I guess?" They glanced up at the ceiling for a moment, and pushed their tongue against the inside of their cheek. "Anyway, didn't mean to bug you."

"H-Hold on," I said, as they already started to step away. "You can't just drop that stuff out of nowhere and walk away without explaining anything!"

They raised an eyebrow. "What stuff?"

"All of that stuff!" I exclaimed. Kamrusepa looked over her shoulder at our exchange as I spoke up. (In retrospect, since we were all fairly close together, she and the others had probably heard a lot of our exchange.) "What did you see at the meeting I had with the inner circle? And what did you mean, 'a theory' about why I can't remember yesterday night?"

"Ohhh." They paused for a moment, thinking. "There wasn't much to the meeting, really. Hamilcar gave a little speech about your granddad's old job and how much he accomplished, offered to make you an 'esteemed' something. These honorary titles all blur together for me. But you turned them down. You said, 'not this time' - that's what made me think something funky was going on."

I turned them down? But Neferuaten had convinced me to accept it the day before.

...no, that wasn't the point worth focusing on here. If I said something like that... Then at that point, did that mean I remembered even more about what was going to happen?

"As for the theory... It's a little awkward? It's one of those things where if I just said it, I'd feel like kind of an asshole. How the hell should I put this." They clicked their tongue. "It's tied in with that book you've been reading. Have you just been reading it front-to-back?"

Wait, what's with this topic shift? "Uh, yeah," I said.

"Try flipping around a bit. I think you'll probably run into something," they said.

I frowned. Had they been eavesdropping on the conversation between Ran and I back in the main hall, too?

"What do you mean, 'something'?" I asked.

"Just look!" They insisted. "You'll get it."

I frowned, irritated.

There are few things in this world more frustrating than being forced to observe someone doing something effortlessly that you can't seem to do at all. Trying to whistle when your lips just won't form the right shape. Studying desperately every day to pass a test while someone else gets top marks without even trying. Not being able to make a single friend while others form connections like it's no big deal, then have fun without you right in your face.

Fang filled me with those sort of feelings. Despite my on-and-off efforts at trying to 'solve the mystery' of what was going on, the truth was that I was so overwhelmed and fucking terrified that I could barely even keep track of what I was supposed to be thinking about. Fundamental questions, like my weird premonitions and memory loss, were buried under more approachable ones, like what was being kept secret by the men in our class, and what the true motives of the Inner Circle were. Those in turn were buried by more immediate ones: Who could have been in the security center at the right time to commit the murder? Was Hamilcar really the culprit, or were we being manipulated? What the hell would I do if we were actually attacked walking down this hallway, especially if Zeno, who I now knew was a liar, was the one to do it from within our defenses?

Even if I could approach each problem rationally, nothing fit together in a way that led to any useful conclusion, and every time I got close to understanding something, the whole situation was shaken up again. I felt so powerless, especially when I thought about how I didn't even know if I'd found a way to save Shiko, or if this would all be for nothing.

And yet, Fang seemed to practically be enjoying themselves, casually making all these deductions on some higher level to the rest of us, only giving us snippets when they felt like it, and taking charge when it was convenient. Like this was all some story in which they were the protagonist.

I felt so envious it made me sick. Looking at the back of their head, I wanted to raise my scepter and shoot an icicle through it. See how intelligent and powerful they'd feel when their brains were scattered all over the stonework.

...sorry, that probably sounded a little extreme. I just felt really frustrated, being in a position like that.

"Hey, uh," Seth said from a little up ahead, and pointed off to the side. "It looks like something happened over here."

I recognized the direction he was pointing. It led to the room that Neferuaten had shown us down here on the second day: The Induction chamber, where the Order kept all those boxes of sentimental items they surrendered upon joining.

Zeno looked in the indicated direction, and her eyes widened a bit. "Let's take a look. And keep your guard up."

The two of them turned the corner, while the rest of us followed behind. As soon as I turned it, pointing my scepter guardedly, I saw the cause for concern.

The heavy wooden door was hanging open, and the interior of the room was visible even from a distance. At first glance, it seemed unchanged, the silhouette of the statue of Eshk still visible at the center of the room.

...however, I quickly noticed something amiss. The shelves seemed to have been overturned, thrown to the floor, and the boxes were scattered in every direction, their contents frequently emptied. All manner of objects were scattered about. I saw old pieces of paper, clothing, toys, a chaturanga board...

One stood out in particular, because it had been clearly placed intentionally at a prominent spot. It was--

It was a portrait of a woman. She had long, blue-black hair, and a rounded face with immature features, and dark, downward-tilted eyes. The middle of her face was covered in a pale spattering of freckles.

"...huh," Seth began, about to annoyingly state the obvious. "That looks kinda like you, Su."