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Connor sat back, watching Avery with her friends and Nora. They sat at one bench around a fire, talking and laughing.
They sat further back, Kelsey leaning into him, a cup of hot cider resting on her knee. She’d braided her hair in the morning, because they were taking pictures and hadn’t gotten everyone through the showers, and now that it was evening, the kinks from the braid gave her hair twists, and they shone in the firelight.
He surreptitiously slipped his phone out of his pocket, angled it, and then snapped the picture. There was some commotion as a kid behind them stumbled and fell.
“No,” Kelsey groaned, her voice catching his attention before he could double-check on the kid. It looked like Bubbles was helping him up. Kelsey pushed the phone down and away. “Stop, no.”
“You look so beautiful right now. It’s a good moment.”
“I am so damn tired, I must have circles under my eyes.”
He put a hand at her back, and rubbed with his left hand, while navigating his phone with his right. “I don’t see circles.”
“But I do look tired.”
“If you do, it’s justified. Now, I might be biased, because I am in love with you to a silly degree, but I think you look fine.”
She reached up to give him a light pat on the cheek. “Biased.”
“You seem pretty ready to head back. We can sort out the sitters, get Grumble and the kids to bed, wind down with a show while we wait for the older kids to get home, get them sorted…”
Kelsey nodded.
“You drove. I can handle most of that. You did promise Kerry you’d read her a book, though.”
“Misses her mom,” Kelsey said, drinking her cider before standing. “It’s a shame Sheridan and Rowan couldn’t drop in. We could justify staying a bit longer by telling ourselves we’re at least watching three of the five.”
“Declan’s fine, I’m sure. Ever since he got his presents, all he’s really wanted is to be online with his friends while he plays his games. That’s his ideal Christmas, he got his fill of family, easy peasy.”
Kelsey nodded. “And Kerry?”
“Yep. Let’s check in on our baby girl,” Connor said. He had to watch his leg placement as he stood because someone had brought a dog up to the roof. Connor focused on it, and frowned, because it was fixated on the cup in Kelsey’s hand.
It looked like a badly taxidermied pug had created a baby with a sewer rat. Its tail thumped the ground to one side of it.
“Do you… want this?”
Tongue lolled.
Kelsey tentatively reached down to give it the empty cup, then she and Connor both startled when a kid wearing a bicycle helmet tackled the dog around the neck.
“You! What are you doing? Are you bothering these people?” the kid asked. It looked like he had the logo from a truck company wedged into the front of the helmet.
The dog huffed out a growly yelp.
“No wrestling near the fire!” Lucy called out.
Rook looked incensed, and was walking over, trying to avoid people in the process.
“Hi, Merry Christmas!” the kid greeted them, bear-hugging the dog. “Christmas is great!”
“Merry Christmas… Ramjam?” Connor made it a question.
“Yeah! Like my helmet? It’s for banging my head into stuff!”
“It’s cool,” Connor said. He put out the toe of his foot to stop them from rolling into the side of the fire pit, then pulled back as the overexcited dog’s face got closer to his foot.
“What a good Christmas,” Ramjam said, while holding the dog in a headlock.
“It is. Definitely a special Christmas this year.”
“We got your family a present,” Ramjam said. He’d dropped a box, and stuck a leg out to move it closer.
“I…” Connor started to reply. He looked over at Avery, who had gone wide-eyed, shaking her head. “…Will open that later.”
“Great! It’ll be a surprise, I love surprises. It’s the season of surprises. Like Halloween! And the winter season of TV on the cable networks! Cliffhangers! And the fall season, more cliffhangers!”
“Yep. Guess you’re right.”
“It’s a nailgun,” Ramjam said, pointing at the box.
“Oh. That sounds right up your alley,” Kelsey said. She leaned in confidentially, “Not much of a surprise now, though.”
“But now you get the excitement of knowing you have a cool nailgun for a few minutes or hours longer! Trade-” Ramjam grunted. Doglick was biting his helmet. “-off!”
“I see.”
“We tricked it out! Don’t point it at anything you care about!”
“I won’t.”
“Also, it hits stuff you’re not pointing at! It’s designed for fun ricochets!”
The dressed-up Doglick and Ramjam broke apart from one another just as Rook reached them, cane hitting the ground with a sharp ‘tok’. They each took separate routes around the bench, Ramjam going left, Doglick going right with the cup clamped in his teeth.
“Also, the trigger is shy, so watch for that! You can shoot it rapid-fire by shaking it a little, finger nowhere near the trigger! It’s the best thing ever!”
Rook circled around, pointing at the fire escape. Both goblins moved, heading right for one another. Ramjam went left to right, Doglick went right to left.
Ramjam ducked down. Connor wasn’t sure if he was trying to headbutt Doglick or working with the dog goblin – doglin? At the same time, in a move that warranted slow motion, Doglick went up, stepping onto the back of Ramjam’s head, his shoulders, then leaped out, legs and tail splaying out, a stream of drool extending from mouth to behind his head.
He landed badly, rolling, and came to a stop, chest heaving with the exertion, his back to Luna Hare’s foot.
He ‘ptooed’ the cup out of his mouth, perked up as Rook circled the bench, then scrambled for the fire escape. Rook swatted his butt lightly with the cane on the way.
Off to the side, Luna bent down to grab the cup, only for Snowdrop, who’d come in with a returning Luna a bit ago, to come in from behind her, lightly body-checking her right buttock to throw off Luna’s reaching hand, before sweeping in with a pair of fire tongs in hand. Grabbing the cup before Luna could.
Luna huffed and rolled her eyes at the opossum, who grinned toothily. Luna turned her attention to the tub that was set aside for washing or rinsing dishes -it looked like the function of the various tubs had been muddied by passing guests- and Snowdrop ducked low and popped up between Luna’s reaching arms, body-blocking Luna’s attempts to do the chores. Luna reached, Snowdrop grabbed a plate. Another reach, a mug was snatched up this time- tucked along with the plate under one arm.
Snowdrop had four soapy, wet dishes tucked under one arm, one of them angled so it was dribbling down Snowdrop’s side, before Luna relented, sitting herself on the edge of a box plant next to Snowdrop while Snowdrop washed.
Connor looked at his wife, who was looking at Avery. He looked as well, and Avery looked around before showing them a piece of paper with a connection block.
Nobody Innocent seemed to have paid much attention to the commotion.
They left the present on the bench- carefully placed. It was wrapped in what looked like a paper mache of magazine pages. He caught the word ‘naughty’ on one.
They walked over to Avery.
“Heya. Sorry about that,” Avery greeted them.
“What are we sorry about?” Nora asked.
“Weird but well meaning friend left them a weird gift,” Verona said.
“Oh, I wasn’t looking. I might be getting tired.”
“It’s cool,” Avery replied. “What’s up?”
Connor cleared his throat. “The gift we just got-”
“I think if it’s awkward, oh, looks like Mr. Toad’s already putting it out of the way.”
“Okay. That works. Bit awkward to carry home,” Connor said.
Avery nodded at him. “I getcha.”
“Uh, we were going to turn in. We recognize you probably want to hang out a bit later, there’s supervision…”
“Yep.”
“Can you find someone older to walk you home? Or go as a larger group?”
“Okay,” Avery said. “I can handle myself, you know.”
“I bet. But let’s be safe.”
“Easy on snacks and treats, okay? I don’t want anyone getting sick tonight,” Kelsey said.
Avery groaned.
“Don’t stay out past ten thirty, okay?” Connor told her. “We’ll keep Kerry up a little while if we can, but she needs to go to bed eventually. If you’re out late and you end up waking her up when you come in, you’re babysitting her cranky, overtired butt tomorrow. All day.”
“Ow. I am setting my alarm,” Avery said, getting her phone out.
“Maybe allow an extra ten minutes so we can get Nora settled. Are you good, honey?” Kelsey asked. “Need anything? Are you okay?”
“I’m- I’m beyond okay. This is great. Thank you for having me.”
Connor could see Avery light up on hearing that. It was a bit startling to see, and twice as startling because he hadn’t expected it to be startling.
“I did want to ask,” Nora added. “Before tomorrow, is there a schedule?”
“Schedule?” Kelsey asked, clearly confused.
“For being up, eating, showers… any of that?”
Connor chuckled. “No.”
“Oh. I remember hearing that getting through showers can be a hassle?” Nora asked. “Is there a process? Should I shower at night or in the morning? What’s easier?”
“Oh, that,” Connor said. “Good question. Are you younger or older than Avery?”
“Younger,” Nora said. “Couple of months, I think?”
“Yeah,” Avery said, frowning.
“It’s adults in the evening, and for the mornings, we divide kids into younger and older, with the water heater only being a certain size. So tomorrow morning is the older three, Avery, Sheridan, and Rowan. Then the next day would be you, Kerry, and Declan.”
Avery narrowed her eyes.
“Oh, you alternate days? I guess that makes sense?”
“On days you don’t get the hot shower, we’ll group you outside, hose you off quickly with clothes on, and bring you back in. We’ll have hot drinks and dryer-warmed towels waiting for you. Just hang out in the kitchen for a bit to dry after coming in so you don’t drip too much water across the house. Grumble will slip.”
“Dad,” Avery said, with her best ‘get real’ voice.
Connor grinned.
“That was a very surreal few seconds where I believed you,” Nora replied, quiet.
“Use the shower whenever. You get priority because you’re a guest.”
“Hey, the highly coveted Kelly family dibs,” Avery told Nora. “Want to cooperate on that?”
“Cooperate on the… shower?” Nora replied, eyes widening.
Connor blinked.
“Whaat?” Verona asked. “Woah, Avery!”
“On the dibs, Ronnie! Letting me in as she gets out, not-”
Verona’s cackling laughter was sudden and loud enough that Avery was cut off.
“I was thinking strategically! It’s intense!”
Verona laughed harder, sliding off the bench to sit on the ground.
“The Kelly family fights over the shower are intense, I mean! You need to think ahead! Lucy!”
Lucy had been partially focused on conversation with Booker and her mom, to her right, and moved from the leftmost end of one bench to the rightmost end of the other.
“Make her stop being a troll,” Avery pleaded.
“I can do so many things, I can’t do that,” Lucy said. Verona threw head and arms over Lucy’s lap, laughing into her thigh. Lucy looked like she was trying to be serious, but Verona’s laughter was infectious- especially once she was jostling Lucy with every laugh. “Besides, you walked right into that. Who would even think you meant what you meant?”
“I did,” Connor said.
“You have to say that, don’t you?” Lucy asked him.
“You said it in front of your parents!” Verona laughed.
“Shut up,” Avery said, looking up at Connor and her mom, then down to Nora. “Sorry. They’re-”
“Your dad’s talking about Grumble slipping, but who’s slipping, Freud?” Verona asked, armpit hooked over Lucy’s leg for stability as she twisted around to look up and back at Avery.
“I have no idea what that’s supposed to mean and I’m pretty sure it still wouldn’t make sense if I did.”
“We’ll head out, good luck,” Connor said, smoothing his daughter’s hair. She moved her head slightly away, but flashed him a smile. Maybe a bit too embarrassment-sensitive for parental affection.
Lucy had given way and was laughing- maybe more at how much Verona was laughing than at Avery’s verbal misstep.
“Don’t be too long,” Kelsey said.
“I don’t think we will,” Avery said. She looked at Nora. “You said you were tired?”
“Yeah. Sorry.”
“It’s better to go home a bit earlier, not get grounded with babysitting duty, and have tomorrow free to hang out.”
“No, no,” Verona said, getting back onto the bench. “Don’t run, don’t leave. We’ve missed you.”
“It won’t be the same without you,” Lucy joined in.
It reminded Connor of the pair of them calling in to invite Avery over, asking to be put on speakerphone before playing it up.
He rolled his eyes a little at Kelsey, but couldn’t keep the smile off his face. He did follow through on leaving her, taking the long way around to stop in with Jasmine.
“We asked them to go home as a group or with adults.”
“Might be one or two of the veterans,” Jasmine said.
“Okay,” Connor said. “You’re not staying?”
“I think I’m cramping their style a bit. Booker will be out late, knowing him.”
“Alright. We should talk again soon. Especially while we’re all in town.”
Jasmine nodded.
Kelsey was talking to Sylvia, Verona’s mother, who was saying, “…I’d like you to meet. You have enough similarities I think you’d get along, and you’re women in management. Different enough fields I don’t think you’d step on each other’s toes, but it would be good.”
“I… sure.”
“Come over? We’ll make it a dinner and wine, and if you like it enough to do it again, I can give you their information.”
“Yeah, no, that sounds wonderful.”
“Let me know the dates you’re free and-”
“Mom,” Verona said, from two benches over.
“-we’ll coordinate. Yes? Want your cat back?”
The adolescent cat stretched in her lap.
“Maybe stop talking work?”
“It’s friendship, not work, but the line gets blurry when you’re an adult.”
“Can someone shoot me before I get there?” Verona asked.
“Aren’t you kind of already there?” Lucy asked, quieter. “With the projects you’re doing, the pigeon, squirrel, Luna, Shoe…”
“Oh god. Oh god.”
“I don’t understand what they’re talking about,” Sylvia told Kelsey and Connor. “Sometimes they start on something and- I told myself I’d stay on top of music and technology, I wouldn’t be one of those parents who get out of touch, and here I am…”
“Art?” Jasmine suggested.
“I know professional artists, I took a class-”
Jasmine was fielding Sylvia’s questions, so Connor managed to squeeze in a goodbye, then left with Kelsey, giving a high-five to Snowdrop -soapy hand- before heading down the fire escape at the side of the building. Past the glass door, the cold air was bracing.
“You were worried about making adult friends.”
“I’m good at making adult friends, but when you add in work and the kids, there’s no time. Sylvia’s a good person to know for that. No time wasted, no fat to trim. She wants you to meet people, she’ll introduce you. If you’re an expert in something, she’s interested.”
“That’s so good,” Connor said, taking his wife’s arm and squeezing it.
Kelsey turned to look up at the rooftop. The tinted glass reflected the glow of the fire within, and people moving around the space made shadows dance against that surface.
“What are you thinking?” Connor asked.
“Remember when Rowan possibly going to University and the kids going to school was the big scary thing, sending our children out into the world?”
“I do,” Connor replied. “This is next level, huh?”
Kelsey nodded, still looking up at the glass-enclosed rooftop.
“Is it better after tonight?”
“Some. But you remember how I got with Rhys and that whole situation…”
“I do.”
“I don’t want to go back to that. I feel like we’re a bad day away from going back to that.”
He could see it in her eyes. That fear. That awareness of just where the limits were.
Her sister Clara’s eldest, Rhys, had been in first grade when a girl in his class had made a comment about the teacher being too hand-on during gym class. Not in those exact words, it had apparently been a lot of extra assistance being given to certain kids in supporting them for cartwheels and bar stunts. There had been uproar among parents, the principal and school board finally got their asses in gear, techs had found stuff on the school computer, in the accounts of that teacher and another one. They’d apparently been friends and bonded over those shared interests.
Clara had taken it badly. That her son had been so close to that. Kelsey had taken it worse. It didn’t matter that it was another town, another school, not even her kids.
There had been a lot of other factors. That had been around the time Grumble had moved in, he hadn’t been dealing well after the first of what would eventually be several strokes, and Kelsey had not been happy about that change in life circumstances, but there literally hadn’t been any other options, with Connor’s brother Sean refusing to answer calls or share the load in any way, and waiting lists for a year plus for any elder care… costing thousands a month they hadn’t had. Rowan had been about to start kindergarten, Sheridan was still in diapers, and they’d been surprised with little Avery, who had been on the way when Clara had called to talk about it.
It had felt like a month and a half of nothing but continuous panic attacks, fierce arguments, screaming kids, scrambles to get Grumble to the hospital, doctor’s appointments over the Avery pregnancy. There had been two serious discussions about separation. There had been that one fight over adjustments to the shower to accommodate Grumble that had seen Kelsey go stay at her sister’s for a weekend, leaving Sheridan and Rowan behind.
One whisper-quiet talk in their bedroom late one night, about whether they should divorce, that could not have been more tense if there’d been a screaming stranger with a gun in the room instead. He could still think back to that night and feel like his heart had stopped beating and tears could come to his eyes if he thought about it too long.
Then Kelsey’s boss had retired with no warning, sending everything into disarray at a time when they were already restructuring. She’d been called into a meeting and told she was being put in charge with instructions to ‘keep the rudder steady’. From manager of a team to manager of the entire Kennet setup overnight.
Keep the local branch of the company steady when it felt like their own family’s rudder had snapped off and sank a month and a half ago.
She’d come home in a daze. They’d later go back to what had worked about that day, that moment, talking about the lightning in a bottle they wanted to recapture in the worst moments. Kelsey, head spinning from a day of work stuff, had defaulted to ‘work mode’. He’d been heartsick over things he’d said the night before, Kelsey would later say she didn’t even remember it. But he’d been groping for communication.
They’d treated it like a business negotiation. Zero bullshit. Laying things out, what they needed, what they wanted, what was non-negotiable.
His dad had to stay. There literally wasn’t any other option. Okay. Could Kelsey accept that as fact, non-negotiable, not a topic for another fight in the future unless she was willing to try finding a home for his dad? That got a reluctant okay.
Okay, but only if he compromised too. Okay.
She couldn’t let her kids go off to school, not into an environment that could be like Rhys’s class, not when Kelsey and maybe Connor as well were too overloaded to pay attention. One of them had to be free and clear to catch the very first whiff of anything. Okay.
She didn’t want to pass up this opportunity, whether it was for a few months or years. If one of them had to stay home, she wanted it to be him. Less okay. They’d debated more about that. But maybe because they were too worn out after the month and a half of everything preceding that talk, there hadn’t been a lot of emotion in that debate.
She’d asked him if he wanted Sheridan and the baby -if the baby was a girl- to live in a world where they’d have this expectation of motherhood and passing up opportunities thrust on them, limiting their careers, futures… In the end, he hadn’t been able to make a good argument about why he should keep working and she shouldn’t. Okay.
They’d arrived on homeschooling, because he had the education for it. He’d found a niche in technical writing and intuitive interface design for medical devices, and he’d convinced his company to subsidize his education, which had touched on the field of education, among other things. Enough things applied and he liked the idea enough that it didn’t feel like him teaching the kids was impossible. Okay. Good.
The idea had been for Kelsey to do what she was doing as long as she could, he’d do the homeschooling for a little while, until they could be more attentive and involved. Even with an interruption of maternity leave and some other guy getting a shot at tending to the rudder, Kelsey had kept things steady, giving them no reason to remove her while the competition in the office hadn’t offered up a good enough reason for them to replace her. So she’d kept doing it until they’d put her as co-helm of Thunder Bay’s office.
And Connor kept doing the homeschooling because it worked, and because the first time he started thinking about adjusting things and sending the kids to school, they’d been surprised with Declan. Then the second time, they’d been surprised with Kerry. He’d stopped tempting fate after that, and hadn’t reconsidered the homeschooling topic until the kids had brought it up.
He ran his hand down Kelsey’s sleeve, found her hand, and lifted it to his mouth, kissing the back of the glove. “We’re together in this.”
She gave him a weary but happy smile.
“Come on.”
“They’re so cute together.”
“Avery and Nora?” Connor asked.
“Yeah. If we could only instill a tenth of the care Avery puts into making sure Nora is comfortable and happy in Rowan, I’d love it.”
“Something to work on. Is there a way I may make you more comfortable and happy, my wife?” he asked, turning, walking backwards, taking her hands in his.
It slowed them down a lot, because he was walking down slushy sidewalk with patches of ice. She steadied him.
“I should be asking you that. I’m off pursuing opportunities, you’re the one who’s caring for the youngest ones as a single parent, and Grumble too.”
“You’ve got the teenage dimension-hopping witch, trying to save Kennet from disaster.”
“Ontario. Saving Ontario. That’s how I understand it, anyway.”
“Right. The refrain was Kennet, Kennet, Kennet for so long.”
Kelsey squeezed his hands. “It’s tricky. Once you get past the terrifying implications of what Avery’s doing…?”
“Minor, negligible, put ’em aside.”
“…She’s doing a lot of it on her own. Sooner than I’d want her to, but she manages, she has other people watching out for her. We’re past the worst of it, aren’t we? They stopped Musser? There’s a general issue with the Carmine Exile, but nothing’s happening there?”
“That’s- I think?”
“And they’ve got help for that. Us, Rook, Toadswallow, Miss, Matthew, councils, markets… Compare that to what you’re doing, and… Kerry and Declan don’t have anyone else really watching out for them that way. Your dad only has you.”
Connor held his tongue rather than say anything about Sean abandoning the duties of caring for their dad. It wouldn’t be anything he hadn’t said to Kelsey before.
“Besides,” Kelsey said. “I never got used to changing diapers, and if you asked if I’d want to trade places? I don’t want to pry poop out of your father’s butt crack and help him change his diaper and clothes after he’s messed himself, sitting in that chair.”
“Fair,” Connor replied, wrinkling his nose. Kelsey matched the expression. He went on, “I guess the ideal circumstance is one where both sides feel like they’re winning out in the compromise, and try to pay back the other for what they owe. Let’s both do something nice for the other.”
“That sounds good. Any requests, Mr. Kelly?”
“At the risk of sounding like a stereotypical guy…”
“Uh huh?” she asked, smiling like she knew the answer.
He stopped in his tracks. Walking forward while he’d been walking backward, she bumped into the front of him. He asked, “Want to tempt fate, see if we’re one of the one in sixteen thousand who have a vasectomy fail more than five years later?”
“Don’t even joke,” she replied, reaching up to pat his cheek. Then she turned him around and resumed walking with him again, “I’ve been looking forward to reuniting.”
“Reuniting. Good way of putting it,” he told her. “Is that what you want your favor to be? I reunite with you, you reunite with me, double down on finding the time?”
“I- if I wasn’t so tired, I’d take you up on that. I’ll hold onto mine.”
“Cheat.”
“Calculating,” she said. “Might be a food treat. We’ll see which snacks the kids finish off first and then what I’m hankering for later.”
“Brownie from the favorite cafe?”
“Always a good choice,” she said, smiling.
It was good to see her in a good mood. They’d last parted ways under a heavy fog of anxiety, worrying about getting here or there.
They reached the house, and he held the door for Kelsey, bracing himself as he heard the running footsteps. A one person stampede.
Kerry came right for him, and he bent down, arms spread, only for Kerry to go for her mom, instead.
“You’re back!” Kerry exclaimed. Running full tilt toward them, happy.
Oh, that was it. That was what had caught him by surprise when Avery had seemed so happy with Nora.
That unadulterated joy Avery had flashed, seeing that Nora was doing ‘beyond okay’, that had been something that had once been his and Kelsey’s.
Letting the kids out into the world, away from homeschooling, into that potentially terrible, horrible darkness, he’d almost been braced for that from the beginning. Preparing himself from the start.
But them finding their joy completely elsewhere? That stirred up melancholy feelings.
“Wow, you’re excited,” Connor remarked. Kerry, picked up by Kelsey, gave her mom a kiss on the cheek, then leaned out, relying on Kelsey to hold her, to give him a quick peck on the cheek as well.
He’d been the one taking care of her day in and day out, so he was less special. That was okay.
“Where’s Avery?”
“She’s still out, but she’ll be back soon,” Kelsey said.
Kerry leaned back from her mom, looking gravely offended.
“Be good. We talked about this,” Connor said.
“I knowww,” Kerry replied, looking annoyed. “I still don’t like her.”
“Avery likes her a lot. And if you’re mean or cranky with her, that won’t get you what you want, which is more time with Avery.”
“I knowwwww,” Kerry replied, before perking up, a thought crossing her head. “What did you bring me?”
“Homework to do over Christmas!” he exclaimed, mocking excitement.
“Noo! Not allowed, jerk.”
“Ooh, heavy language,” Kelsey said.
The neighbor who’d been babysitting was in the living room, and ventured out.
“Well, asking for things out of nowhere is greedy, and greedy kids get what they deserve,” he said, poking her side.
“Last year you brought cake from the work party.”
Kelsey nuzzled Kerry, “You couldn’t even remember if we had a Christmas tree last year, but you remember a piece of cake?”
“Yes!”
“I guess we know what to prioritize for next year, huh?” he asked. “Were they okay?”
“Declan played his games, Kerry was a ball of wildfire like usual,” the babysitter said.
“Rah!” Kerry made a hand gesture in Connor’s face. He made a guess and pretended he was being burned.
“And my dad? Is your cousin still here?”
“Yeah. I think they watched a show together, then he switched to listening to a book on tape. She made tea, and stayed in earshot.”
“Good, glad he’s enjoying his present.”
“Grumble got a book on tape,” Kerry said. “But I was promised a book on mom.”
“Bedtime story,” Kelsey said, putting Kerry down.
He paid the babysitter and Grumble-sitter, then divvied up responsibilities. Kelsey greeted Declan, then took Kerry up to get ready for bed and to read a book. He checked on Grumble, then went to see Declan, sitting on the arm of the couch, arms folded, watching Declan’s character running around, getting hit by a giant knight, looping back a short distance to where there was a little medkit, healing, then running back to the knight, only to get hit again.
“This is fun?”
“I’m training my endurance skill.”
“Oh. You train it by getting hit or healing?”
“Both. There’s a five percent chance on hit and a one percent chance when I get healed that I get a rank in endurance.”
“I see. And how many ranks are there?”
“A hundred.”
“And what does a rank give you?”
“Half a percent more health.”
“Huh,” he said.
He watched it go on for another thirty seconds. Three loops.
“This is fun?” he asked.
“Stop asking that,” Declan said, as if grievously offended at the idea. “I gotta do this to progress.”
“Huh. This is a good chance to work on math. Let’s see, if each loop takes ten seconds, and you get a five percent chance and a one percent chance per loop…”
“Dad, I don’t care about that.”
“What’s the average length of time to get a hundred ranks? Remember your homework on probabilities? Percentages?”
“Ugghh!” Declan groaned.
“Then you can calculate the possible time ranges this can take.”
“Ugggghhhh!”
“Then you compare that to the amount of time and effort the extra fifty percent health gives you…”
“It’s point five percent per rank, dad.”
“At a hundred ranks? How much extra health do you get? Do the math.”
“Ugggghhhhh!”
“You’ve got this routine down. It’s a chance to flex those multitasking muscles. Use your hands to play and your brain to math. What’s half of one?”
“One half?” Declan asked, distracted.
“Represented with a decimal point?”
“…Point five.”
“And if one percent is one out of a hundred, then…”
“I get it, I know that, I’m just focusing on this.”
“How do the speedrunners do it? You like watching those.”
“I don’t know. Probably they don’t get hit so they don’t need the health.”
Connor nodded. “Sounds good to me. More fun.”
“Yeah, well, you need to be good at the game to do that, and I’m not good at the game, so I have to do it this way.”
Connor got his phone out, and searched. “What’s the game?”
“Monte.”
“Monte… speed run, endurance-”
“Endurance skill.”
He pulled up the first video the search gave him, watched a minute of the third most obnoxious person he’d ever seen going on a random tangent, then skipped forward to the gameplay.
“I guess those guys need to get hit after all, they spend a minute and thirty seconds getting to one hundred” Connor said.
“Well…” Declan threw down his controller. “…That sucks!”
“Does it? There’s a faster way.”
“I wasted all that time doing this, I gotta finish it.”
The screen blipped- a little message saying ‘Endurance 31’.
“That’s called the sunk cost fallacy.”
“It’s called the Declan is going to finish doing this Declan’s way because otherwise I spent the last hour and a half doing this for nothing.”
He watched Declan do another loop, looking grumpy.
“I remember you running in circles like this in the animal game. You used an elastic to hold the joystick to the side?”
Declan stopped what he was doing, pausing the game, looking back at his dad.
“You were trying not to fall asleep?”
“The insomnia challenge,” Declan said, before getting up and going to the kitchen. He came back with a rubber band, then used it to set up the joystick.
The character ran in a circle but the knight didn’t hit him.
On the second loop, the knight hit him, he ran around, hit the health, then started the next loop.
After a few repetitions, it looked like a two-out-of-three success rate. Declan bounced on the spot, clenching his fist, on the sixth and seventh successful loops.
“Success!” Connor said.
“Nobody can touch this. I’ll leave it on and come in the morning,” Declan said, turning off the television. “I’m going to go to bed.”
Connor turned the television back on, then quickly leaned over to stick his leg out, blocking Declan. “Hold on, hold on.”
He changed the settings so the television wouldn’t be set to the game system when Grumble went to watch his shows in the morning.
“First off… this looks like a neat workaround, but how is it different from using the speedrunner’s trick?”
Declan shrugged. “Because I did it. It’s the way I was doing it, but better.”
“Okay. Well, second of all, I think I deserve a high-five, at the very least.”
Declan put his hand out. Connor high-fived him. Then Declan gave him a quick, perfunctory hug.
Pretty good, considering the usual.
“Third of all, ground rule. If you wake up tomorrow and something went wrong or you have to go back to the last save… no getting mad. You rage, you lose out.”
Declan nodded.
“And finally… spend ten seconds talking to me about something that’s not games. I’m going easy on you tonight.”
“Sheridan’s being weird.”
“Sheridan’s here?”
Declan nodded. “In the room downstairs.”
“I was wondering where she was. She was meant to come to us tonight, hang out at the little party. How’s she being weird?”
“Just quiet. Computer stuff.”
“Huh. Okay. Thanks for the heads up. You good? Decent Christmas?”
“Yeah. Good.”
“New games, memory for your game system, headphones from Sheridan, clothes, a very stuffed stocking… Avery got you that shirt that’s worn by that game character on the poster in your room…”
“Yep. Thank you. It’s all cool.”
“You happy enough?”
Declan nodded.
Connor put a hand at Declan’s shoulder, giving him a light push toward the stairs. Declan ran off.
He checked on Sheridan in the basement, knocking as he came down the stairs.
“What’s up?” Sheridan asked. She was half-lying down, pillows and cushions from the couch propped up behind her.
“Hiding out?”
Sheridan shrugged.
“You good? You didn’t show.”
“Wouldn’t really know anybody.”
“Hmm.”
She looked sad, or worried.
He reached into his pocket, opened his wallet, and pulled out a twenty. “Internet related?”
“What’s the money for?”
“Give me ten guesses. I’ll give you twenty.”
“Three.”
“Three. Okay,” Connor replied.
“The internet one is the first. And it’s not that.”
“Holiday stress? It’s weird, people going this way and that, driving in on Christmas day, meeting up, then splitting up.”
“Nah,” Sheridan said. “I mean, it is, but nah.”
He thought about his next guess. Magic?
What would that even be?
But asking would raise flags. Especially with Sheridan, who both Avery and Kelsey had reported was a little too on the ball with some of this.
He thought for another couple of seconds. “Too many magic cookie bars? Got the squirts?”
“Gross,” Sheridan said, pitched and enunciated in a way that only teenage girls could deliver that perfectly. She clapped her hands and held them out. “Three wrong, pay up.”
He walked into the room, handing it over, then sat on the corner of the bed. She closed the laptop a little too quickly.
“What?” she asked. “Pay me more if you want more guesses.”
“Twenty…” he said, pulling out another bill. “…But you have to say.”
She looked at the bill, tempted, then shifted, settling into her spot, adjusting the blankets. “Nah.”
“That bad?”
“Stop fishing,” she said.
“Don’t want to talk about it?”
“Nope. Not in the slightest. Not right now.”
“You were willing to let me guess.”
“You were never going to guess, so it’s free money,” she said.
“Tell me or your mom when you’re ready?” he asked. “I don’t like you being in a funk.”
She nodded.
He reached into his wallet, and he fished out eight bills, to add to the one in his hand and the one he’d given her. He put them down.
“You want to know that badly?”
“The money I gave you and this here is what I was going to give you anyway. For shopping. Your mom and I would love to go shopping with you tomorrow, but if you don’t want to, that’s okay too.”
“You cheated me.”
He reached for the stack of bills, drawing it closer to himself.
“Which is totally fine. Well played,” Sheridan said.
He released the money. He started to get up, then stopped before his rear end left the corner of the bed. “You okay?”
“Am I ever?”
“You seemed pretty great, talking about your podcast stuff over dinner.”
Sheridan smiled a bit. “True. But it’s fine. I’m always a bit not-okay. I’m a different sort of not-okay than usual now, but… we’re fine. You did good.”
“You’ll talk to me when you figure it out?” he asked.
She shrugged and nodded.
That’d have to be good enough.
If he’d lost his memory of the past few months and had to work out which of his kids was involved in some magical revolution, his guess would not be Avery.
He went upstairs, then started getting Grumble sorted for bed. Diaper change in the bathroom, shower help, clothes, then in bed with a book on tape again. Sheridan and the puzzle of what was going on span around his head, and he went up a floor with the idea of getting Kelsey and working together with her on the puzzle.
Except she was passed out on Kerry’s bed, the book Avery had given Kerry askew in her lap. Kerry, in the corner between her mom and the wall, was sitting up looking very offended.
“I was promised a story,” Kerry whispered.
He nodded, easing his wife awake, hand on top of her head as she stood, so she wouldn’t bump her head on the underside of the top bunk. He got her to bed.
No testing the vasectomy tonight, he figured.
And talking about Sheridan would have to wait.
He read through the booklet that Avery had given Kerry. Avery’s package to Kerry had been a cool wooden puzzle box that Avery had showed Kerry the secret to, that had been stuffed with duck related things- some were silly or minor, like duck socks, duck stickers, and a duck-colored toque with a brim colored like the beak. There’d been a duck plush, and that had looked like the big prize, until the box had been emptied, Avery had mentioned there was something else inside, and Kerry had gone for a flashlight. She’d seen the cover of the book, which was flush with the sides of the box, and worked out how to get the box open and the book freed.
It was a kid’s book, taking Kerry’s story about ducks and adding illustrations throughout. Avery had asked him for pictures of Kerry’s class photo and tips about who was a friend and who was an enemy, to supplement it throughout.
He read through it, and was midway through a third yawn when he heard Avery come in.
Twenty minutes before curfew. Pretty darn good.
The yawning, though. He wondered.
They were upstairs after a short bit, whispering and talking together, silent as they came through the room, him reading one line, collecting toiletries to take to the bathroom. Nora took clothes as well.
He yawned again as they left.
“Can I put this on pause?” he asked.
“Why not?” Kerry asked. “Mom did.”
He picked up the duck plush he’d been using to act out parts and placed it on Kerry’s head before getting up, clipping the top bunk with his head as he did so.
Avery and Nora were in the bathroom, door open, doing their grooming. They started to brush their teeth, and then for whatever reason, interlinked arms while brushing their teeth, hooking elbows around one another. That became disastrous, especially with the slight height difference, being too far apart and Nora’s arm pulling on Avery’s, causing the toothbrush to miss mid-stroke. They laughed, moved together so their arms wouldn’t pull-
“Ow, ow, you just elbowed my ribs.”
“Sorry sorry sorry!” Avery exclaimed.
“Shh, your sister might be sleeping.”
“She’s not,” Connor said.
Avery turned.
“But your mom is.”
Avery nodded.
“Can I have a word, as soon as you’re done?”
Avery nodded. She quickly finished brushing, spat, then stepped out. Nora closed the door behind her, sleep clothes in hand.
“What’s up?”
“Wanted to ask… the book you gave Kerry. That’s not…”
He had to triple check the coast was clear.
“What?”
“Not magicked? You didn’t think you were doing us a favor, giving us a book that would put Kerry to sleep?”
“No, it’s a regular book, illustrated by a collaboration of Verona and Peckersnot. I thought that would give it a kind of wild goblin energy that suits Kerry. But I’ve heard that book exists. The fall-asleep one.”
“I remember it from your notes.”
“Ah,” Avery replied. She put her arm out, giving him a light punch on the arm. “Point for you.”
He smiled, then put an arm out- an invitation for a hug, not a punch.
She hugged him, walked around him while hugging him, turning him a hundred and eighty degrees around, then moved toward her old room. “Mind guarding the door while I change? Just- tell Nora to wait a sec?”
He didn’t release her from the hug. “One more thing?”
She paused, on the tips of her toes, angled toward the door.
“Kerry’s been really good about not getting the time with her big sister,” he murmured. “If you can find any way to squeeze in extra quality time…”
She nodded. “I could finish reading that book?”
“Perfect. That would be terrific.” He let her go. She didn’t stumble with that release, and she slipped into the room, closing the door.
Nora emerged from the bathroom, her hair tied up, wearing a huge black t-shirt with the graphic long since faded and fallen to pieces. It came almost to her knees. She stopped short, seeing him standing in the middle of the hallway.
“She’s changing,” he said, holding up a finger.
She nodded quickly.
“You good, you need anything?”
“I’m good,” she replied. “Thank you.”
“Good job on the drums tonight.”
“Thanks, yeah… that was not how I expected Christmas to go.”
“But good?”
“So good.”
He wasn’t sure what else to say or ask.
She wasn’t what he would’ve expected. Not when he imagined his daughter eventually with a boyfriend, obviously. Really missed the mark there. But in other respects. He thought of Olivia, and of Melissa and the other girls who’d been more active on the hockey and soccer teams, and even of Lucy and Verona. All different sorts of outgoing. And then Nora was dark and quiet and guarded, anxious and…
She made Avery happy?
It felt a little like she was a perfected distillation of every wrong assumption he’d had about his daughter.
“Done,” Avery reported, cracking the door open.
He stepped back, opening the door, and let Nora in. “Good night, you three.”
“Night!” Avery said, sitting herself down on Kerry’s bed. “Nora.”
Nora was settling into her bed. Where Sheridan usually slept. “Yeah?”
“I’m giving you a voice role.”
“Do I need to come over?”
“Nope. Because you’re the duck.”
“Is the duck the star of the show?”
“Basically. So what you do, is when we point at you, you quack.”
“That’s so embarrassing!”
“It’s so good!” Kerry exclaimed.
“Shhh, mom’s sleeping,” Avery whispered. “So just to test run it. Taking a line from the middle of the book? Kinsey stood tall and stared him in the eyes. You think you’ve won? We’re going to-”
“Oh. Quack?”
“-you up.”
“Got to do it better,” Kerry said.
“Again. We are going to-”
“Quack.”
“-you up. Got it?”
“Much better,” Kerry decided.
“I think so. This is a kid’s book?”
“This is a Kerry book,” Kerry said.
Connor eased the door closed, then went to the main bedroom. Kelsey was up but sleepy. Apparently woken by the commotion.
“Everything alright?”
He nodded, changing, turning out the lights, and then climbed into bed. “We’ve got some good kids.”
The older people got, the earlier they tended to wake up. His dad was getting up there, and that meant a quarter-to-six wake-up.
Which meant, really, that he had a quarter-to-six wake-up. Connor slipped out of bed. He changed, then slipped silently through the house, with the ease of a practiced daily routine.
Downstairs, where his dad was already awake, watching the television in his room.
“How are you this morning?”
“S’rright.”
“Pretty good then. Was an alright Christmas?”
“Preyygood.”
Even more unintelligible than usual first thing in the morning.
He got his dad up and into the downstairs bathroom, sat him on the toilet, then left him there, gripping the pole by the toilet for balance while sitting. Then he got clothes, and brought them with. Once his dad was set, he helped him dress, then moved him to the living room.
Going into the kitchen to get some things, he startled.
Sheridan, in the barely lit kitchen. She was standing by the stove, where the kettle was sitting on a glowing oven ring.
Another specter. Another reminder- fuck. He’d meant to talk about Sheridan with Kelsey, but she’d been awake for such a small window, there’d been so much else…
“Hey there,” he greeted her.
“Hey. Couldn’t sleep,” Sheridan said. “Making coffee.”
“Enough in there for Grumble’s decaf coffee?”
“Yeah.”
“Cool. Want to talk about it?”
“Coffee?”
“Not being able to sleep.”
She shrugged.
“Okay,” he said. He didn’t push her. He knew too well that Sheridan had inherited all kinds of stubbornness from Grumble. Pushing would get him stonewalled.
Couldn’t be easy.
He made toast, barely toasted, added butter and sharp cheese, and brought that to his dad to tide him over until breakfast, then got the water from the kettle- Sheridan had lifted it away from the hot oven ring at the first hint of a whistle. Made decaf coffee, then brought that over.
He stood with Sheridan in the dim kitchen. The world outside was still dark. Waiting. Hoping. A little bit guilty, that he hadn’t worked with Kelsey on figuring this out.
“Can I show you something?” Sheridan asked.
He nodded.
She went downstairs, and she came up with her laptop.
“That’s your place. In Thunder Bay?” he asked.
“Watch,” she said.
“Why do you have video of your place there?”
“Because it feels weird, not owning the place?” Sheridan asked. “It feels like the moment we leave, our landlord’s going to come in and, I dunno… judge our pile of dirty laundry?”
“Could try doing the laundry so there’s nothing to judge,” he said, elbowing her.
Sheridan didn’t smile.
He watched. He saw the door change. The camera flickered, trying to hide it at first, a bar from a compression error blocking a swathe of the screen. Then it gave up as Avery came in.
“I watched this happen live. And there’s no way that Avery went from being in the same room as me to… coming out of the bathroom?”
He watched it continue.
“And who or what is that?” Sheridan asked, pointing to a figure in the door- and a world beyond the door that wasn’t the bathroom of the apartment in Thunder Bay.
She looked up at him.
“Let me wake up your mom and Avery.”
“Avery’s gone,” Sheridan replied. “I was going to ask her. I checked. The bed’s empty. Her bag’s gone.”
“Okay,” he said.
“You sound really okay with that,” Sheridan whispered. “What’s going on?”
“Let me wake up your mom.”
And, with a yawning Rowan coming in, and Avery coming back in not that long ago, they were all present. Connor, Kelsey, the three oldest kids, all in the dining room.
“Finally,” Sheridan told Rowan.
“Good morning to you too,” Rowan answered. He looked around the room. “Did Grumble die?”
“That’s what I thought,” Avery said.
“Grumble’s fine. He went back to bed,” Connor replied.
“Can I go back to bed?”
“No. This is important. There’s coffee if you want it.”
“Don’t you dare delay any longer,” Sheridan hissed. She turned the laptop on.
The video played. Avery, stepping into the apartment.
“Okay,” Rowan said. “Weird as shit. Who’s videotaping us?”
“Sheridan,” Connor said.
“Why is Sheridan videotaping us?”
“Because, I dunno? Feels like we’ll leave and right away the landlord will come in and have sex on our beds.”
“What kind of person do you think your landlord is?” Connor asked.
“A person with the keys to our place?”
“That’s really not answering my question,” Connor pointed out.
“Well, me first,” Sheridan said, pointing at the screen. “My question is this. How the hell was Avery with us less than half an hour before I saw, real-time, Avery walking out of our bathroom in Thunder Bay?”
“Training hard, skates?” Rowan asked.
Avery smiled.
“Seriously, though, that’s weird.”
“There’s an answer,” Avery said. She hit the spacebar.
Stopping before the weirder part.
“I’m so eager for this,” Sheridan said.
“It’s weird, but… different sort of weird than you’re thinking.”
“Sheridan’s on drugs? Got the time wrong?” Rowan asked.
“I’m not and I didn’t.”
“I have a friend,” Avery told her siblings. “Her name’s Raquel Musser. We met at the summer thing I went to. She’s- Sheridan, she’s basically as close to a real-life Blasphemy Girl as I’ve ever met, I’m pretty sure.”
“Huh?”
“Like the girls in your show. Except not quite as evil, and not sociopathic, I think. Her family has or had a stupid amount of money, she has horses, she has outfits worth more than what dad makes in a year. She’s been through- I can’t even get all the way into what she’s been through. Her dad basically sent her brother to his death. I was just taking her to Verona’s, tonight. To get her away from an arranged marriage.”
“Oh my god,” Kelsey said. “You got her out?”
Avery nodded.
“You’re actually buying this bullshit?” Sheridan asked. “Oh, so not only is my sister capable of time travel, which still hasn’t been explained, my entire family’s been taking stupid pills?”
“Easy,” Connor told her.
“Sheridan,” Avery said. “Raquel’s family has private jets. Multiple.”
That was… a pretty good answer.
“I don’t believe you,” Sheridan replied.
“It’s actually true,” Kelsey said. “I’ve met Raquel. She’s very nice and the situation seemed very desperate.”
“So I’m to believe that my little sister, without mentioning anything to us, went from hanging out to going out to a concert tonight. Then, while everyone was distracted, she slipped away, got on a completely silent, invisible private jet in a runway in Kennet that none of us knew existed, flew to Thunder Bay, helidropped down- did you parachute?”
“No,” Avery said.
“-So you jumped? Rappelled? Landing near our apartment, got in, got things, let’s completely ignore the other stuff on this video- and then you got back on the jet and flew back? Did you rappel down somehow or did you use the super secret sound-dampening runway equipped with jet-camouflaging technology?”
“All very good questions,” Rowan said.
Connor looked at Kelsey, and he imagined her thinking the same thing he was. Our daughter’s a little too clever when it comes to these things.
“And then there’s this,” Sheridan said, before hitting the spacebar, resuming the video.
Avery reached out, slapping the spacebar, pausing the video again. “Wait.”
“What the hell?” Sheridan asked.
“It might be awkward with Sheridan, obviously, but Rowan?”
“He’s old enough, and if he’s living with us, he should know.”
“Is this about Avery being…?” Rowan asked. “Because I know.”
“It’s about Avery,” Kelsey said. “But I’m not sure what aspect of Avery you’re referring to.”
“You know, her being- I think everyone here knows. I know. She’s gay?”
“How, excuse me, wait the fuck up,” Sheridan said, turning to her big brother. “How- how do you see a video where she’s apparently time traveling or teleporting, and your thought is fucking herp derp, must be the gay thing?”
“Don’t herp derp me, I don’t know!”
“Shh,” Connor cut in.
“Do you think gay people teleport, Rowan? Is the world in your head that magical?” Sheridan asked.
“It’s six in the morning, people are dancing around the subject, I don’t know!” Rowan protested.
Avery looked up at Connor, giving him a helpless shrug- which Sheridan caught.
“I saw that. So you three know something and you’re not telling-”
“It’s complicated to tell,” Avery said, “So I wanted to check-”
“Oh my gawwwwwd, stop- I want answers,” Sheridan said. “I am going to pound the table and wake up half the house, or scream, and wake up fucking everyone. Stop- this is freaky. This, on this video, this timing, the other part-”
She hit space, resuming the video.
Avery hit it- Sheridan blocking her hand, resuming.
Connor reached for the laptop and moved it away from the both of them, pausing. “Let Avery talk. It is important, if it’s what I think she’s saying.”
“Fuck me,” Sheridan said.
“Okay,” Avery said, working her way between her big sister and the laptop, hands raised. “But… sharing the details, it gets weird. I think it’s fair to ask Rowan… would he rather know the full story about what’s going on, knowing it makes life way more complicated, or would he rather opt out? Keep doing what he’s doing?”
“I don’t think we can keep him out of this in good conscience,” Kelsey said. “Your little brother and sister, yes, they’re too young, it’s a lot-”
“And if Declan handles any of this the way he was handling a knight in a video game last night, I’m going to worry a lot,” Connor said.
“What the hell!?” Sheridan asked, raising her voice a little more over what it had been. “Stop dancing around the subject. To start with, I’m going to lose my mind. Also, you’re confusing poor Rowan, he thinks gay people teleport now.”
“That’s not- that’s not what I was saying,” Rowan said, hands pressed to his eyes.
“Rowan-” Avery said, turning to her big brother.
“Skates,” Rowan replied. He looked at Connor. “Did we win the lottery or-?”
“Doesn’t fucking explain the time travel and-or teleporting,” Sheridan said.
“Look,” Avery said, pushing past the jumble of conversation. She grabbed Rowan’s sleeve. “You- you say that dating is hard work and work is hard work and what I’m saying is this is a huge plateful of shit. This is a lot, okay? It’s a lot of work and it’s a lot of… a lot of things.”
“Oh my god, if someone doesn’t spell this out for me, I’m going to crucify myself,” Sheridan said. “I don’t know how but I’m going to figure it out.”
“The moment we dish the details, it’s really hard to go back to normal,” Avery said.
“Are we adopted?” Rowan asked.
“Fuck off,” Kelsey replied, with no venom in her voice.
“Woah, what?”
“I will honestly take the answer ‘you were adopted from a family of natural time travelers’ if it means someone addresses the very obvious glitch in reality,” Sheridan said.
“I’m sorry, I love you, but fuck right off if you’re going to ask me that question after I went through forty-seven total months carrying you all,” Kelsey said.
“We’re not addressing the glitch in reality?” Sheridan asked.
“Rowan, you want life simple, which seems to be your vibe,” Avery said, “opt out, go back to bed, forget this conversation.”
“I don’t think that’s possible.”
“It is,” Avery said. “This topic is special like that. Forgettable.”
Sheridan was frowning.
“That’s a partial answer,” Avery said, glancing over at her sister.
“Sorry,” Rowan said. “But that’s my thing, right? It’s not that I’m lazy. I’m… really good at inconveniencing myself. By being a dumbass about stuff, or getting in my own way.”
“Connor,” Kelsey said, quiet.
“Lightning in a bottle? Let’s lay it out.”
He nodded slowly.
“What’s this?” Sheridan asked.
“Back when your mom first got promoted and things were chaotic,” he gave them the abbreviated, sanitized version. “We had a sit-down. Broke it all down. And we did the same when she got the Thunder Bay position. We did the same when Declan and Kerry were born.”
“We have made a lot of mistakes” Kelsey said. “I don’t deny that. But I think we do okay with the big moves. And that’s why I’m where I’m at. Why we’re where we’re at.”
“Okay, well, that’s great for you, but also… what the hell?” Sheridan asked.
“This is more serious than your struggles senior year” Connor told Rowan. “More serious than… everything we talked about with Laurie.”
“No shit?” Rowan asked.
He turned to Sheridan. “More serious than, in a way, a family member dying.”
That statement seemed to have changed the tenor of everything in the conversation.
Kelsey rubbed Connor’s back.
“Because if, God forbid, something happened to Grumble, or one of your aunts or uncles or even one of you kids, life would go on. We’d mourn, we’d hurt, there would be a hole in our lives. But we’d go on like normal. The world would keep turning the same direction.”
“And, what?” Sheridan asked. “This other thing I got on video… the world doesn’t keep turning?”
“We don’t go on like normal,” Connor explained. “There’s a fundamental change. And Avery’s right. If you want out, if you want a normal life, then there’s a way.”
“Go to bed, convince yourself this conversation was a dream,” Avery said. “There are people… forces, that will help that along.”
Neither Rowan nor Sheridan moved.
“Yeah, long shot,” Avery said, looking at her mom. “It’s this stupid fucking contradiction, that you can’t explain why or how someone should or could back off and take the out without getting into stuff that makes them really not want to. I read about people doing it in books, but I haven’t seen it happen in actuality.”
“Books?” Sheridan asked.
Avery sighed.
She hit the spacebar.
The rest of the video played out.
“Who or what is that?” Rowan asked.
Connor watched as Avery pushed up her sleeve, pushing down her bracelets to bunch together at her wrist. She looked at Connor and Kelsey.
Connor looked at his wife, then nodded.
Avery grabbed a thing of post-its from the kitchen, put one on the door, and scribbled something out. Then she closed the door separating dining room from kitchen.
“What’s this?” Sheridan asked.
Avery pulled off one bracelet.
The doors slammed- A new door replaced the kitchen door without sound, and replaced the back door with a muffled sound, a tenth the usual volume of a slamming door. Sheridan startled.
“I think this one’s okay” Avery said. She opened the kitchen door.
On the other side, there was a subway car, a dingy hospital green, roaring along its track. Others sat on either side of the subway car, a few of them looking up, others not even bothering. Past the windows on either side was a sea- a storm– a rolling explosion of swirling, snarling, overlapping animals. Eyes as big as the double doors punctuating the length of the subway car swept by in a flash, glowing red, illuminating the interior.
“That is about ten times the ‘what the fuck’ quotient I was expecting,” Sheridan said, quiet. “And I was starting at ‘my ditz sister fucking time travels to get stuff she forgot at the apartment.”
“I didn’t forget it,” Avery said. “I left it behind on purpose.”
“Is that really what’s important?” Rowan asked.
“I have ditz moments but I’m not that bad.”
“What are those things?” Rowan asked, indicating the subway.
A few turned their heads. A woman with what looked like a pile of rottweiler puppies sticking up from the neck of her low-cut top, piling up where the head would be, was among them. All of the puppies gave the Kelly family a mess of very disappointed looks.
“People, don’t dehumanize,” Connor said.
“Are they even human?” Rowan asked. “What are- what’s past the window holy shit?”
“That’s a few thousand beasts of the cascus wilds. Primevals,” Avery said.
“I-what?” Rowan asked.
Sheridan pulled out a seat and sat down, facing the door.
Avery explained, “Animals from a time before labels and form, some of those outside that subway car are like, pre-predators bigger than Lake Superior. Not huge fans of humanity.”
“Fair, me either,” Sheridan said, joking, but there was no thrust to the joke. She looked a little stunned, still.
“One of the most powerful women I’ve met kind of considered getting one elephant sized one handled the work of a good month. And those are Lost, and they are interesting and oftentimes very cool individuals who exist on the Paths. What we used to think of as the world of dreams, but now we’re thinking more… edges of known reality, I guess.”
Sheridan looked up at Connor, a little stunned.
“So is the company story a cover?” Rowan asked his mom.
“No. That’s real.”
“So you deal with before-times monsters as a casual side thing?” Sheridan asked.
“It’s Avery’s thing,” Connor said.
Sheridan glanced over.
“We support. Your mom’s been helping with the business aspect. Like she helps with your podcast.”
“Okay, um, A the first, there’s a business aspect?”
“Yep,” Avery said. “A lot.”
“B the second, are we really comparing that to my rinky-dink, sad-ass podcast with a hundred listeners?” Sheridan asked, finger pointed at the open door.
“Raquel Musser is real, by the way,” Avery said. “And she’s one of those listeners.”
A man in a suit with a newspaper folded up his newspaper. Where the newspaper had been held up, there wasn’t anything behind it- glove and body were missing, and remained disconnected and absent as he got up and walked toward the open door.
“Avery,” Connor said, directing Avery’s attention to the door.
Avery moved to intercept.
The man in the suit stood there, a perfect square cut out of him, the rest of the subway car visible through the gap. He leaned into the door. “Young lady.”
“Um, hi,” Sheridan said.
“It’s rude to point,” he said, before reaching for the door and closing it.
“Sorry for my sister!” Avery hurried to add, before the door was fully closed. Sheridan dropped the pointing finger to her lap.
“Shh,” Connor warned.
Someone upstairs reacted. There was a creak of a floorboard.
All five of them stood or sat there, silent, listening.
A door closed upstairs. The bathroom, Connor was pretty sure. He moved to have a viewpoint through the living room, of hallway and stairs. It would be impossible to come down without making a shadow against the wall.
“Well,” Avery said. “You wanted to know. Now you know. That subway car? That’s massive and dangerous. That’s not even point one percent of all of it.”
“And what are you?” Sheridan asked.
“Practitioner. Wizard, basically.”
“Badass,” Rowan said. Sheridan nodded.
“Thanks. More specifically, I’m a path runner. I like… I like those weird places. So I explore ’em. Bring back some stuff. Like the ability to make these doors appear.”
“You would,” Sheridan said. “Because you’re a weirdo.”
Kelsey laid a hand on Sheridan’s head, before bending down to kiss it.
“Nora?” Rowan asked.
“Nah. Doesn’t know. I don’t want her to know. Lucy and Verona.”
“Huh. She does have a black cat.”
“Yep. Magic. We even have dumb witch hats. I kind of regret that now. But they’re ritualistically important aspects of our Self now.”
“Huh,” Rowan said. “So…”
“Now what?” Sheridan asked.
“Well, I guess now we discuss you, where you’re at…” Kelsey said. She looked at Connor. “We break it down, lay out the options? You lay things out, I keep us on track, Avery handles details?”
“Sounds good.”
“What’s more to lay out?” Sheridan asked. “You had this big discussion about whether to show us this, you showed us…”
“There’s scales, degrees,” Connor said. “Whether you practice- there are deals you have to make. But even if you’re in the know, you haven’t necessarily bought all the way in. Right?”
Avery nodded.
“What, this is toes in the water shit?” Sheridan asked.
“Yep,” Connor replied. “And the more you know, the more you can do, the more involved you can be, but the more danger you’ll be in.”
“Worth saying,” Kelsey cut in. “People could start waking up at any time. So we may be interrupted. This isn’t something we can handle just this morning.”
“Yeah,” Avery said. “You can’t talk about this or share it. Don’t tell Nora. Ask us before getting into any of it with anyone, or messing around.”
“I’m not going to get sent to an asylum or go wandering off into some subway car to get eaten by a thousand before-times lake-sized animals,” Sheridan said.
“A few thousand.”
“Right. I’ll be good,” Sheridan said.
“It’s up to you two. Whether you want to be disengaged, dimly aware of it,” Connor explained. “Or engaged, peripherally involved. Melissa from Avery’s old hockey team is doing that. We’re doing that, some. There’s… I guess you could awaken? Avery might be able to walk you through that? And taking that a step further… Kelly family practice? If everyone’s on board?”
“I mean-” Avery started.
There was a creak upstairs.
Whoever it was that had woken up returned to their room.
Declan, Connor guessed.
“-I’ve got a lot on my plate.”
“Wait wait wait,” Sheridan said. “If you don’t teach us, who does?”
“Can we put a pause button on that? Because there’s stuff going on…”
“A pause button on me learning magic?” Sheridan asked.
That stubbornness again. “Easy, Avery. Let’s not draw a hard no-”
“I’m just saying.”
“I’m saying I want to call in all my big sister chits-” Sheridan said.
“It’s not like that.”
Connor tried to cut in, but was drowned out by the overlapping protests, Avery trying to back out, Sheridan taking that as cause to dig further in.
Kelsey went to the door with the post-it stuck to it, picked up the post-it, and tapped it lightly against Avery’s lips.
Avery stopped, frowning.
Then Sheridan, who continued trying to talk for a few seconds.
“Woah, cool,” Sheridan said, the moment the paper was pulled away.
Stopping the argument.
“Avery,” Kelsey said. “Keep it short and sweet.”
“I’d be handling so much of that. Bringing them in, getting them up to speed.”
“If not now when?” Kelsey asked. “If they wanted.”
“I want,” Sheridan said.
“You lose the ability to lie without like, steep consequences. If you break a promise you pretty much get fucked over in every conceivable way,” Avery said.
“Deal. I’m in. I’ll throw in my left hand, left tit, left eye, left foot, whatever.”
“You shouldn’t even joke about that. There are things out there that listen,” Avery said.
Sheridan scoffed. “Wow.”
“Don’t laugh. I’m serious.”
“How in the fuck have you left me out of this for this long? You are the trolliest little sister. Here I am, sitting on my fat butt, saying over and over again, life is boring, when’s it going to get interesting, and here you are, gallivanting around, magic dooring your way to subway giant animal land? Seriously?”
“That Path isn’t even a- that was the first time I’ve seen it. I read about it in a book, you don’t need to make a huge deal of it.”
“It’s my only point of reference!”
“Shh,” Connor warned.
They paused.
“Avery,” Kelsey said. “Approaching this like another negotiation… one very similar to what the Garricks were doing. Asking for your time.”
“Is a garrick like a superbeast?” Sheridan asked.
Avery groaned. “Stop bringing up the superbe- they’re called primevals, and they’re not even that important here. You- even if you get super involved you probably won’t have to think about or worry about them for a long time. Unless you get on the wrong side of a woman called Marie Durocher. Don’t get on the wrong side of her.”
Kelsey stepped between her two older daughters. “Sheridan.”
“Yes?”
“You sound like you really want to do this.”
“Yeah. I can’t see myself not wanting to.”
“Rowan? You’re quiet?”
“More like they’re loud.”
“Thoughts?”
“Waiting and seeing.”
Connor walked over and gave Rowan a rub of the shoulder. “Good.”
“Avery,” Kelsey said.
“I’m so tired. I want to hang out with my girlfriend and best friends. I’ve got other stuff to do, with the market and some enemies, and Charles and when I’m not doing that, again, I want to hang out with my girlfriend and best friends.”
“Charles?” Rowan asked.
“It’s complicated,” Avery said. “Get dad to give you the rundown.”
“Avery, okay, just to get all of us on the same page…” Kelsey said. “What about waiting until the New Year? There’s no rush-”
“I’m rushing,” Sheridan interrupted. “Let me in, let me in.”
“There’s a lot to it,” Avery said. “At the very least, we should test Sheridan on the no-lying thing. Like, two weeks where she can’t tell a lie. Or the two weeks reset. And if she makes and breaks a promise for that time, she never ever gets to do this.”
“Trying to play me? Going to screw with me?” Sheridan asked. “Keep the magic to yourself?”
“Weirdly, those are really good questions to be asking, good paranoia, for dealing with a lot of this stuff,” Avery said. “Like, makes me a tiny iota more willing to do this-”
“Fuck yes,” Sheridan replied.
“-Except I don’t think I can. There’s so much other stuff.”
“Two weeks though?” Sheridan asked.
“Maybe a month? Because you’re you?” Avery said, shrugging.
Sheridan gave her the finger.
“I say it with love,” Avery said. “Really truly. I can give you stuff to read in the meantime. So you’re ready when the time comes.”
“So you want to wait two weeks to a month?” Kelsey asked.
Avery nodded.
There was another creak upstairs.
Heads turned, and Connor’s wasn’t one. He watched half his family as they reacted to the sound. And he saw a glimpse of something in Avery’s expression.
He’d seen it in her mother last night.
A weariness that came from knowing where her limits were, and the fear of hitting them.
“Ave,” Connor said.
“What’s going on? You need these two weeks to a month because something’s happening?”
“Basically,” Avery replied.
“How dangerous is this something?”
“I didn’t mean to leave you in the dark or let you think everything was better than it was.”
“How bad is it?” Kelsey asked. “You all dealt with Musser?”
“This Rachel girl?” Sheridan asked.
“Raquel’s uncle,” Avery said. “Would-be Ontario-conquering magic warlord. Also conquered some Manitoba. Secretly.”
“What’s the threat?” Connor asked.
“Carmine,” Avery replied. To Sheridan and Rowan, she said, “Charles. It’s complicated.”
“Sure,” Rowan said.
Sheridan seemed to have calmed down some with Avery getting more serious, talking about danger.
“There’s a truce for the holidays. Then it gets messy in the new year,” Avery said.
“Like… thanksgiving messy?”
“What’s thanksgiving?” Sheridan asked.
“A whole bunch of magicians attacked Kennet to add it to Musser’s list of conquered chunks of Ontario. One of them clued mom and dad in then. Then Verona, Lucy, and me, and some of the local Others- non-humans, we kind of dropped a magical meteor on Kennet and cracked it open to create a new magical Kennet layer.”
“Huh.”
“Bigger deal than that.”
“Bigger than before the Christmas break?”
“What’s that?” Sheridan asked.
“We got challenged by the Wild Hunt, big deal enforcers of the faerie courts, just as a distraction from our final confrontation with Musser, some secret saboteur practitioners are acting in Kennet, not sure how they fit in. Bigger than that.”
“He’s serious then? The Carmine?” Connor asked.
“He may even be deadly serious,” Avery replied.
He felt a chill. Not just at the words. But at the look in Avery’s eyes.
“He’s the guy who gets to decide a lot of how magic works, in most of Ontario and some of Manitoba,” Avery explained to her siblings. “He’s kind of omniscient, he’s probably listening in on us right now. It limits how much we can communicate and plan.”
Connor nodded.
His heart broke for her. Seeing her like this.
“I thought it was better. That we were past the worst of it,” Kelsey said. “Or maybe I wanted to think it was?”
Avery shrugged.
“So that’s a no on the Garrick magic family dealio?” Sheridan asked.
“Family practice.”
“Sounds like a law firm.”
“It’s kind of meant to, I think. And no, it’s not a no,” Avery replied. She looked up at Connor. “But there’s two ways we can do this. The first is you… let me go. Give me the room I need to do this. Do what you gotta do, support me if I ask for it, but also… trust me?”
“Or?” Kelsey asked. “Everything on the table.”
“As much as I can with the big red guy looking in,” Avery murmured. She dropped her eyes, then looked at the laptop. “If we do this as the Kelly family, any of it more than me all on my own, it has to be all-in. I need you to pay attention. I need you to listen to me, follow any instructions exactly. Listen not just to what I say, but what I don’t say that I normally would. Know me better than he does.”
“So you need us to not be the Kelly family anymore, basically,” Sheridan said.
Avery turned that look toward Sheridan. The same one Kelsey had had, thinking back to the old days, when this family had been a mess of screaming children and panic attacks. His little girl facing something as big and impossible as this.
“Fuck,” Sheridan muttered.
“Yeah,” Avery said.
But what was the alternative? Leaving Avery to handle it alone?
The stairs creaked. He saw shadow, and by the silhouette- Nora.
Avery glanced over, and even with walls in the way, she seemed to know. She smiled. She put her bracelet back on.
“Nora,” he said, quiet.
“Conversation on pause,” Kelsey said. “Food for thought.”
He’d been supplanted as the person Avery most wanted to see come in the door. Since a long time ago. Nora was that now. And getting over that, getting past his worries about what her being gay was in this world, getting past what that meant as far as him not knowing his own daughter? Essentially getting past himself, on several levels? Having to put in so much effort steering the family that they lost family members overboard? That had made the journey all that so much harder. For Avery as much or more than it had for him.
Then to turn away now? No.
“Let’s try,” he said, knowing Nora was more or less in earshot, and he couldn’t elaborate much. “We have to.”
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